I certainly remember that feeling from my own wedding day in Dubrovnik.

It was great to see friends that I hadn't seen for a while and to meet some of my wife's family for the first time. However, did we need a group photo's with them all? No. Most of those images haven't seen the light of day since we got them back and I'm sure that those relatives aren't digging them out each year to relive the moment.

Brutal, maybe, but I'd rather have had a cold glass of something in my hand and the chance to chat with them for longer, making memories of the day, while the photographer captured the real interactions and emotions, not the staged (and slightly thirsty) formals that we ended up with.

You’ll get your gallery back, look at most of those group shots once and they’ll never be seen again. I know this. You know this. They know this.

As a photographer, I see both sides of the debate. There’s a real balance to be struck between capturing the formals and keeping the momentum of your day alive.

Here’s my take on the for and against of the traditional group photo list.

Even for the most documentary-focused couples, there’s a reason we still do formals. For lots of families, weddings are one of the few opportunities when everyone is together. Where three or four generations can stand side by side for a picture. So it’s important to balance the value of those family group shots, with the time limitations of a wedding day.

- The Family Archive: Let’s be honest—your mum and gran are going to want a photo for the mantlepiece. These are often the few times the whole family is in one place and looking amazing.

- The Guarantee: Documentary photography is brilliant for capturing the "feel," but the formal list ensures we don't accidentally miss a key relative who might be a bit camera-shy.

- History: In twenty years, you’ll likely value that one "boring" shot of all your cousins together more than you realise right now.

The biggest risk with a long photo list is that it can become a "momentum killer."

- The Time Drain: A list of 20+ groups can easily eat up 45 minutes of your drinks reception. That’s 45 minutes you aren’t mingling with the people you invited.

- The "School Photo" Vibe: Standing in a group can feel a bit stiff. If you’re aiming for a relaxed, elopement-style wedding here in Croatia, a long formal session can feel at odds with that vibe.

- The Photographer’s Trade-off: Every minute I spend checking names off a list is a minute I’m not hunting for those genuine, unscripted moments that happen naturally at the bar.

- Don’t assume there are set group shots I do at every wedding: There are no ‘standard’ group shots anymore. I don’t know your family dynamics. I don’t know if your parents are still together or if you get on with your stepmum. I don’t know if you consider your sister’s boyfriend as part of the family.

Ideally I will always try and get all the group shots done just after you arrive at the reception venue, but give yourself half an hour to day hello to everyone and you get a drink before we start.  

If you want the best of both worlds, here is how I recommend handling it.

- Keep it Lean: Aim for 8–10 core groups. This keeps the session under 20 minutes. Think about what shots are really important to you, think about which ones you would actually print off, which ones you would actually choose for an album or even to put on a wall. Think about which shots you’d regret not having. Those shots make the list.

- The Wrangler: Give a groomsman or a vocal bridesmaid the list. It always helps to have people on board to gather up those that are needed for group shots – particularly as I won’t know who everyone is. Recruit someone from each side of the family to help get people together and you’ll find that the group shots are done with before you know it!

- The "Big Group" Shot: If you want a photo of everyone, do it immediately after the ceremony while I have you all in one place. It’s much harder to herd them together once the drinks start flowing.